Tokophobia - Is C-Section the Answer?
Ever heard of it? It’s a phobia that is the Fear of Giving Birth.
Now that may sound a bit strange to you but there are women who legitimately suffer from this form of phobia and the widely growing personal requests for having a C-section today may be, in part, due to the fear of giving birth.
Tokophobia is said to occur in about 1 in 6 women.
This ‘fear of giving birth’ can be so ‘disabling’ it can lead to miscarriage or even cause a woman to avoid becoming pregnant altogether, even if she actually wants children.
Anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, or a history of sexual abuse, can trigger tokophobia and bonding disorders. Some women experiencing tokophobia may believe that if they are made to deliver their baby, they might die.
In extreme cases, tokophobia has been described as a pathological terror that can be so extreme, women have been reported taking steps to abort their pregnancies, engage in abusing drugs and alcohol or harming themselves so as to abort the fetus.
Tokophobia comes in two forms. There’s primary tokophobia which occurs before pregnancy and can start as early as the teenage years. It can come from misconceptions about childbirth, sexual abuse or inaccurate information about giving birth that has been passed on. Secondary tokophobia can result from a traumatic birthing experience such as poor obstetric medical care, previous post natal depression or other post natal or labor anxieties such as feeling ‘out of control’ or distressing birthing or hospital memories.
If you have a fear of pain at all, then you also are likely to fear the pain of labor. Having had a previous complicated childbirth or inadequate pain relief is also a common reason for having childbirth fears.
A positive note to all this is that having the choice to choose a c-section delivery may help. Having the ability to choose how you want to cope with your fears it and of itself can help relieve some of the anxieties. In fact a study done by The British Journal of Psychiatry (2000) on pregnant women with tokophobia found that women who were refused their choice of delivery method suffered higher rates of psychological morbidity than those who achieved their desired delivery method.
In addition, clinical hypnotherapy can also help with Tokophobia. It can help provide a woman with more control of her mind and body consequently easing the effects of Tokophobia. Such therapy can give you the ability to reduce pain, fear, and anxiety while in labor, creating a calmer experience for you and a less stressed baby.
No matter how you feel about such phobias as Tokophobia, it is not something to be taken lightly. If a woman is harming herself or her unborn child either physically or mentally and compromising the future of her mental health, then the problem needs to be addressed.
I’m not a fan of unnecessary surgery but it has become apparent that a woman’s choice to have a cesarean section because of the ‘fear of childbirth’ is a very ‘real’ fear for some women and is not something to simply look at as being a ‘wimpy’ characteristic.
So what’s the answer? Should a woman consider psychotherapy or consider the option of having a c-section? Psychotherapy is probably a good long term solution however in the short term perhaps a c-section is the answer.
Any thoughts?
Had I been able to have an elective csection when I was of childbearing age, I might not be near 50 years old and childless now. I regret every day the losses that I suffered due to tokophobia. No children, lost relationships, broken engagement. I am a very severe tokophobic and I wouldn’t even consider childbirth, even if I could find therapy that would help. But I do think if I could have been assured I would have access to a csection I would have had a child rather than 4 abortions.
Thanks so much for sharing such a personal experience. It is unfortunate that you have had 4 abortions due to Tokophobia and it’s helped me realize what a terrible phobia this can be. A c-section seems to me would have been the perfect solution for you.
I will keep you in my prayers. Despite the phobia, I think you’ve had to be very brave.
Elizabeth
I am 35 and also experiencing this fear extremely. I have never been pregnant but would like a baby but this is stopping me. I dont know where to go for help and have no one to talk to as none of my friends understand. The fear is so extreme I have been depressed about it for a long long time. It would be a huge weight lifted if I knew I could have a c-section. I put my fear down to terrible period pains when I was younger. The were so bad I was sick, fainted and just sat rocking in bed for 2 days every month. Pain killers didnt even touch the sides, even prescription ones. That is the only trauma I can think of that has resulted in this fear. Its ruining my life to be honest.
I can completely relate, I had the same problems when I was younger with terrible monthly pain, however the pain subsided as I got older. I was afraid of the pain when I was pregnant but somehow my mind never went there and I knew that I could handle it.
For you it’s obviously different. Having a c-section may be the answer for you however I would encourage you to consult with your doctor or a local professional first. However don’t ever feel that you can’t have a c-section.
With the proper preparation and understanding of the healing process so as to avoid as much pain as possible you should be fine.
Have confidence, try to relax and focus on the greater good - you will some day have a baby!
I also suffer from Tokophobia - and the thing that sends me mental is that no-one - NO-ONE seems to take me seriously. I get patronising ‘”oh you’ll change your mind” to the downright offensive “women have been doing this for 1000’s of years - what’s the big deal?”
I’ve been married for 5 1/2 years and I’m nearly my 32nd b’day. My extreme fear of pregnancy and birth is starting to drive a wedge between myself and my husband. He wants a child of his own someday, not quite yet but he’s warming to the idea.
To be frank I want a child but I resigned myself years ago that to do so I’d have to adopt. I like children, I used to be a nanny to a pair of twins that were 5 and their little brother who was 3. They loved me and I’m still in contact with that family 9 years later. So I’m not child phobic or a child hater.
I honestly believe that if I refuse to give my husband a baby he’s going to leave me. His mother has already told him that if he wants kids he’s going to have to “find another wife who’ll do it for you”. Her words to me were to simply “get over it’.
But the thought of giving birth scares me witless. The lack of dignity - I find that something very difficult to get my head around. The pain, being patronised with ‘you’ll be fine’ when in fact you’re in bloody agony is insulting. I find it unbelievable in this day and age that women are left to suffer for hours - days on end. Medical procedures full stop are not something I’m good with anyway. Stitches, needles - anything like that. Last time I went for a shot my husband had to hold me in the chair so the nurse could do it.
Even the prospect of a C-section isn’t enough for me. The thought of a needle in the spine makes me feel physically sick - not to mention the idea of actually being awake and listening to the procedure. Even now just writing this I feel I’m going to be sick in my rubbish bin.
I honestly think that if I every managed to allow myself to be pregnant if I couldn’t find a private doctor to allow me to have c-section under a full general I’d abort. Even if managed to convince a doctor to do this - I’d still have this fear throughout the entire pregnancy that at the end the doctor would turn around say ‘actually, we’re joking, you’re going have this baby naturally’. Or whatever. Like some big prank or desperate attempt to just get me there and to leave me to get on with it irregardless of my wishes.
Because of all of this, I feel like I’m starting to go a bit mental. My girlfriends (with & without children) range from finding my fears amusing to just weird. I’ve never spoken to a GP etc as fairly certain I’ll get the ‘your body was designed to do this you’ll be fine’ routine.
No-one understands how much this is affecting me -how FRIGHTENED I am of this.
I’ll probably end up divorced and adopting as a single mother.
Thank you so much for your post, I think it’s a great start for you opening up and getting your feelings and fears on the table. You definitely have ‘fear’ and you’re going to have to deal with how to rectify that and I think you truly want to, you just don’t know how you’re going to be able to.
But here’s the fact — YOU CAN! It may take time and a little patience on your husband’s part but you will.
Don’t worry about those that don’t understand your fear, they simply can’t relate and we tend to do that as people if we can’t tryly understand how someone feels. Your fears are very real and it’s not because you are weird, we ALL have ’some form’ of the fear of pain, yours is just more acute.
Have you thought about hypnosis? Some people shy away from that because they don’t think it can work, however it has worked for many people. If not hypnotism, I’d strongly suggest talking to a professsional about your fears. There are clinical reports that indicate women who can talk about their fears and anxieties and discuss it at length with professionals have been able to overcome them. I definitely think it’s worth a try for you.
I understand that even seeking treatment can be difficult for phobia sufferers but in your case the reward sof freedom from such overwhelming fear may make it worth the effort so that you can have the life and peace in your relationship.
Many Blessings.
I never thought that there were so many people like me. I was sexually abused when I was very young and the effects haunted me for many years. When I got pregnant, I was terrified because I knew I couldn’t go through the humiliation and loss of control that comes with natural childbirth. I toured the birthing center and when I saw the beds they use for delivery, I had a horrible panic attack. They looked like torture devices. I continued to panic for 2 months. I finally decided to discuss it with my doctor. She understood my fear and offered an elective c-section. I knew that there would be more people in the room during surgery than during natural delivery, but I wouldn’t be forced into that humiliating position with people watching me and holding my legs…
The worst part of the surgery for me was the catheter, but no one in the operating room saw any of my private parts. It was so calm and comfortable for me. I wasn’t horrified and I kept my privacy. I had a wonderful c-section experience and recommend it to anyone who shares this phobia. The recovery was somewhat painful, but very tolerable. Besides, a small incision on my belly was easier to deal with than stitches in the other place would be.
Don’t be afraid of c-sections. Don’t listen to anyone that tries to talk you out of your very personal decision. This is your baby, your decision, and your experience. What difference does it make how the baby is delivered anyway? The outcome is the same either way, right?
Besides the relief from humiliation, c-sections cut labor time down to nothing. I received my spinal, delivered and was staple up in under 20 minutes. I waited in the recovery room for an hour and returned to my room in no time. I have watched my sisters experience the pain and agony of labor for hours. I knew that I could never go through that. By the time they were done, they were exhausted and didn’t get to enjoy the first few hours of motherhood like I did. I had make-up on and my hair was done, so when my family and friends came to see us, I didn’t look like I was hit by a train. I’m not a vain person, but no one wants visitors when they are a mess, right?